all over again

I'm gonna go ahead and put this out there.  I'll probably regret it, and I may even end up deleting this post, but I'm feeling open right now.

We want another baby.

We've both always wanted a large family, but that became less realistic when we began our battle with infertility after we got married.  Now, we're facing that battle for the second time.  We haven't ever been preventing a second baby, but I've been taking the same fertility medication (Clomid) since January that we used to get pregnant with Evie.  There's only one difference.

It isn't working this time.

With Everlyn, all it took was the lowest dose to get things back in order in my body.  This time, that dosage didn't do the trick, so we doubled it.  So far, nothing.

I don't know what's next or where to go from here.

Now that we have Evie, I feel guilty for wanting another child.  After all, there are plenty of couples out there longing for a baby, but their arms will remain empty.  I feel selfish.  But this is how I feel, and I just need to be real about it right now.  

I expected our attempts at a second pregnancy to be less of a battle.  After all, we already knew a bit of what to expect.  Unfortunately, the emotions and struggles are just as real this time around.  I guess we'll see where things go from here.