through her eyes

As I've reflected on this Easter season, I have a new perspective on the way that I view the cross.  Why? Because I am a mother.

I tried to imagine Jesus' death through Mary's eyes.  

There truly are no words to explain the depth of my love for my daughter.  I love her so much it physically aches sometimes.  When I tried to put myself in Mary's place, I couldn't.  It must have been completely unbearable for her to watch her son, her baby, be so brutally and unjustly tortured.  He was beaten beyond recognition.  And then, He was hung to die the most excruciating, humiliating death.

I wonder if she ever wanted to fight, to run after Him and throw her fists at the guards, to rescue her child.  I wonder if she was physically ill watching the events unfold.

I wonder if she could really watch at all.

I have a new appreciation for the cross, and specifically, for God's sacrifice of His Son.  Becoming a parent has drastically changed how I view my relationship with God, simply because it parallels parenting in so many ways.  Only, in that relationship, I am the stubborn, disobedient, strong-willed child.  As a parent, I fail often, but it gives me hope and patience to know that God never ever gives up on me.  Instead, He loves me unconditionally.  So much, in fact, that He gave up Himself just so I could be with Him one day.