Grey

I was driving on the grey pavement under a cloudy grey sky.  The whole world just seemed grey today. 

I thought about a dear high school friend who just lost her six-day-old nephew.  He was born at 31 weeks and had several internal abnormalities.  The six days he did have were a miracle.

And I thought to myself, what if that was my baby?

I don't think I could hurt this much if I didn't have a child of my own.  I empathize. My heart is broken for them.

I thought about the fact that my dad has never met my daughter.  The fact that he has intentionally cut ties with us for over a year now.  The fact that this will be the third year of my life where he has purposely not spoken to me.

And it hurt.  Not in a, "I'm sad" kind of way, but more like a "Who does that... really?" kind of way.  

Sometimes when I step back and really survey the life around me, I see beauty abounding.  I see joy and love and hope.  But today didn't happen to be one of those days.  I saw hurt and pain and sorrow.  I thought, more than once, nobody should have to go through that.  

Today I saw grey.  

But I have hope that the sun will come out tomorrow.