So much has happened these past few days. Chris' grandma passed away last Thursday. She had been battling cancer for several years, but it recently spread to her brain and things took a quick turn. When I was younger, I had a hard time understanding the "big deal" of a grandparent dying. Then, my grandfather died suddenly from leukemia. It was awful. I think the hardest part of this week for me has been knowing that Chris was feeling that kind of sadness. I just wish there was more for me to do for him.
I also started the slow, agonizing process of weaning Evie this weekend. I figured it would be a good time since my mom was going to be watching her during the viewing and the funeral. Wrong wrong wrong. She hates it. Absolutely hates it. And I feel really terrible for putting her through this. Yes, I made it 5 months nursing her exclusively. That's longer than I originally hoped. But I feel so selfish for taking this away from her. She loves nursing. She screamed for almost two full days while we tried to introduce her to formula. Her fussiness, my guilt, and the sadness of last week's events made me an emotional basket case. I just felt like I was being a bad mom. She's still not happy with the bottle, but I can usually get her to take at least a few ounces of formula at a time. I still nurse her first thing in the morning and right before bed though. I hope it gets better soon.
Here's looking forward to a new week.
No comments:
Post a Comment