the details

So yes, the secret is finally out - we are expecting baby #2.  It happened just when I had about given up hope.  We were on our very last cycle of clomid before there would be a mandatory break from the medication, along with visits to a fertility specialist.  And then, on June 25, I took a pregnancy test in the wee hours of the morning.  And it was positive.

And I couldn't believe it.  As much as I wanted to break the news to Chris in some creative, special way, I couldn't contain my joy and excitement.  I ran right into the bedroom and turned on the light, startling him awake.  And then I told him.  He jumped up and was so surprised and happy right away.

Around 5 weeks, we had a blood test and early ultrasound to confirm.  I was already beginning to feel sick, so the doctor wanted to see if there might be multiple babies.  (Thankfully, no.)  Since then, we have had two more ultrasounds where we got to see our tiny peanut.  Even the second time around, it is surreal.

But ahh, the symptoms.  I have been extremely sick this pregnancy.  I was sick with Evie to the point where I vomited most days for a few early months, but it was nothing compared to this.  I have been nauseous and vomiting since week 5.  It's now week 15, and though things are getting much better, I still vomit most days.  We even had to spend some quality time in the emergency room because I was so dehydrated.  At another appointment, my urine analysis confirmed that I was spilling ketones and proteins.  Thankfully, they didn't send me back to the hospital that time.  As awful as I feel much of the time, I still can hardly believe that we have been entrusted with another tiny baby.  We are not deserving, yet God has blessed us greatly.

Our anatomy scan is coming up in a few weeks, but we are not planning to find out if we are expecting a boy or girl.  As difficult as it might be, I know it will make the birth so much more exciting.  We're just going to do a very simple, neutral nursery.  It will be lovely though.

Now that the emotional journey of infertility treatments/appointments are over for the time, I can't help but lament that this will likely be my last pregnancy.  I know that sounds selfish for me to say right now, especially with so many people struggling to get pregnant.  I don't mean it that way.  It's just that I don't want to put myself and our marriage through the emotionally exhausting regimen of fertility medication again, or at least for a very long time.  It's stressful, and it's simply not fun at all.  We do have hopes to adopt in the future, though it is a very lengthy process.  And I'm sure it's very different from pregnancy.  So for the time being, I'm trying my very best to cherish these short months and enjoy every moment as we eagerly await our miracle baby.