Moments

Motherhood thus far has had some incredible moments - first laying eyes on our sweet baby girl, looking into her big blue eyes while we held her late at night, seeing her look up and smile at us for the first time, hearing her adorable baby laugh... the list goes on and one.  But my favorite mama moments have always been rocking my baby girl to sleep.  It doesn't start out quite so peaceful.  Evie is screaming, scratching at the rocking chair, pushing on my chest.  Then, I start to softly sing to her, gently patting her back. Her crying stops, and her beautiful eyes gaze up at nothing over my shoulder as she listens to my voice.  Before long, her eyelids close, and she has her arms draped across my chest.  It's as if she has melted right into me.  

In those moments, I am all she wants. And as a mama, that's an amazing feeling.

Because one day soon, I may not be enough for her.  We'll walk her into her kindergarten class, and she'll leave us to explore and learn and make new friends.  And then she'll become a teenager - perhaps rebellious at times - and I will not be all she wants.  She'll (eventually) start dating and dreaming of her Prince Charming.  She'll graduate high school and move on into adulthood.  One day, we may even give her away to a man who loves her dearly.  He will steal her heart, and we will be left reminiscing of  our little girl.  Perhaps she'll have her own daughter some day who will overwhelm her heart with a love beyond words. 

Some day.  But not today.  Today, all she wants is me.  To be held and loved and cuddled and sung to. To lay on my shoulder in the dark quiet of her bedroom.  To have just one more moment in my arms before I lay her down to sleep.  

So I take advantage of today.  I close my eyes and listen to her soft breathing in my ear.  I drink in her sweet baby scent.  I gently kiss her soft cheeks.  Because today will soon be gone. Every moment is fleeting.  So instead of hurting for the moments past, I enjoy the present moments with everything in me.