This Too Shall Pass

When I was pregnant, people would make jokes about how we should prepare ourselves for not sleeping when the baby was born.  I would complain about pulling an all-nighter for school, and someone would always reply, "You better get used to it!" What I didn't realize at the time is that people who talk about new parents not getting any sleep are right.  We literally get no sleep.  Every night, Evie begins to fuss around midnight.  This fussing leads to wakefulness (on her part) and crying (on both of our parts) until about 5 a.m.  We try to soothe her - we play music, we rock her, we cuddle her.  Nothing works.  She just wails and wails.  Sometimes she will fall into a light sleep, but she wakes up as soon as we lay her down.  And then around 5:30 or 6, she decides that she is tired and falls fast asleep.

Needless to say, we are not getting any sleep.  Literally.

I found myself in a mixture of panic and frustration.  Panic because people are already asking if she is sleeping through the night.  Hello, she's only 3 weeks and 1 day old! No, she's not sleeping through the night! In fact, she's not sleeping at all at night. We have tried all of the recommendations - swaddling, swings, laying her down awake, laying her down asleep, music, white noise, and on and on.  She just hasn't figured it out yet I guess. I also get frustrated when it's 3:00 in the morning and it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  I find myself literally begging poor little Evie to please sleep for awhile.  Please.  And of course, that does nothing to help her sleep. 

All of this leads me to desperately asking other moms for advice.  What do I do?! And amidst all of the aforementioned recommendations, I find several moms saying, "Hang in there, this is the rough part. It only gets easier.  This too shall pass."  And I have to stop and think - am I expecting too much from this sweet little girl? She is so little in a brand new environment, and I am expecting her to have it all figured out after only 3 weeks.  How can I be so demanding? She is not expecting me to be perfect, and I should not expect that from her.  As much as I desperately want her to start sleeping through the night, I am trying to learn to cherish these moments because I know they will be gone all too soon.  And while I find comfort in knowing that "this too shall pass," it also makes my heart ache a little knowing how quickly she will grow up.  I have no doubt that I will one day look back and long for her to be a new baby again, all-nighters and all.  I need to hold on to these times, trying as they may seem in the present.

Yes, this too shall pass.  So I need to enjoy it before it does.