Humililty

I often find myself struggling with pride. It's something that I've only recently recognized, so I still face it on a regular basis. Pride, combined with the fact that I always feel the need to share my thoughts aloud, makes a bad mix. I'm trying to think, really think, before I speak. And I'm trying to focus on times when I feel most humbled. So here it goes...

IJM (International Justice Mission) at Union. We met every Sunday to pray for each request that the IJM staff emailed us. We usually went around in a circle, each taking one request at a time. We typically spent about 45 minutes in prayer. I remember a week when the circumstances facing IJM workers were particularly heavy. In the middle of this time, one of the girls simply slid off the pew and fell to her knees in prayer. I suddenly felt humbled. Humbled to be a part of such a strong, dedicated group of Christians. Humbled to be in the presence of a Holy God, so Holy that this girl felt the need to get on her knees. Humbled to be a small part of what IJM is doing.

Youth group. Yep, youth group. Being a part of the youth leaders, especially now that Chris and I are married, has been extremely humbling. I am young and often foolish, so I felt (and feel) very unfit to be in the position I am in. How is it that the students are growing and maturing when I am often a poor example of what a Christian should be? Looking over a group of 40 students with their hands in the air and their voices crying out to God makes me extremely thankful for the privilege of being called one of their leaders, especially since I often feel that they are the ones leading me.

Despite these experiences, I am in no way a master of humility. I am taking it day by day, making a conscious effort to give all the glory and honor to the One who is deserving. But these little moments remind me just how small and foolish I am and just how big and awesome He is, and that He wants to use me anyway.