Evie's Dedication Letter

Evie's Dedication - July 29, 2012

Our Sweet Evie,

We have dreamed of this day for so long.  From the time we were married, we have prayed fervently that God would one day bless us with children.  Now, we share in the words of Hannah from the Old Testament - “For this child I prayed, and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him.” And what a precious gift you are! You have taught us what it means to be a family.  Our hearts are overwhelmed with love for you.  We are truly blessed.

You have also taught us more about God’s unconditional love for His children.  Even when we fail Him, He passionately loves us as His own.  We promise to do our best to demonstrate this kind of love to you.  We commit to forgiving you when you make mistakes.  We will also strive to be parents of humility who aren’t afraid to say, “I’m sorry.” 

Everlyn, it is our hope that you will one day claim Christ as your own Savior and that you will enter into a personal relationship with Him.  As your parents, we will model what it means to be Christ-followers in our marriage, our family, and our home.  We pray that you will look past our failures and see God’s love in us.  He already has a special purpose for your life.  May you seek out that purpose as you grow into the person He has called you to be.  

We love you more than words could ever express.  It is truly a privilege to be your parents.

Love,

    Mom & Dad

Ephesians 3:17-19

“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

These are a Few of my Favorite (Baby) Things

One of the most exciting yet most stressful parts of being pregnant was deciding what baby products to register for.  I spent hours reading customer reviews, safety reports, and browsing products online.  Now that we have been in the thick of parenting for a little over 3 months, I thought I'd share some of our feedback so far.  These are just a few of our favorite baby things.  (The hubs had some input in this too, so it's coming from both of us.)

1. Dr. Bronner's Baby Liquid Castile Soap

Why We Love It: 

I chose this soap after doing some research in finding the mildest, most natural baby soaps available (without spending too much moolah.) I was very pleased with the "1" rating given by the Skin Deep Cosmetic Database.  (A lower rating means that they deem it as more natural or having fewer harsh ingredients.)  I also liked that it was certified fair trade and made with organic oils.  The hubs was a little taken back by the price at first (around $15 for a big bottle), BUT we have used it for 3 months and still have soap above the label in the bottle.  It's going to last a LONG time! Now, the hubs is completely on board.  So far, we have nothing negative to say about this product.  

2. Sakura Bloom Ring Sling

Why We Love It:

Okay, that's a lie.  I love this product.  It is amazing - 100%. However, Chris just can't seem to get comfortable wearing it.  He's only tried a couple of times, but he just can't get the hang of it.  Perhaps some dads would be okay, but he's not one of them.  However, I use this baby all the time! It's comfortable for mama and baby.  I used it when Evie was only a few days old - she loved being snug as a bug right up against me, and I loved being able to have my hands free to do other things.  It's convenient when we go somewhere that's not particularly stroller-friendly.  It's also great for little babies because it keeps other people at a distance - no one will touch your baby.  The instruction booklet is very helpful in adjusting and getting comfortable with the sling.  It took me a couple tries the first time, but Evie was snuggled up in a matter of minutes.  You can also use it in other positions when baby is older, but we have yet to try those.  The major con of this product is price.  I think ours was around $160 - yikes! But since many of our other major purchases were taken care of at our showers, we decided to splurge on this.  It's been well worth it, in my opinion.  It can be bought at Sakura Bloom.

3. Prefold Cloth Diapers

Why We Love Them:

I knew I wanted to try cloth diapering, but Chris was a little more hesitant.  He was all for saving money, but the thought of putting a poopy diaper in the laundry didn't exactly appeal to him.  After getting recommendations from a few experienced mamas, I decided to order prefolds and covers for Evie's first few months.  This was suggested because I would be breastfeeding.  Breastfed babies poop a LOT, and their poop is water soluble, so it's okay to put right in the wash without dunking.  We ordered an infant package from Nell's Natural Baby.  We got 30 prefolds, 4 Thirsties covers, 4 snappi clips, and a roll of flushable liners for $118.  (They were on sale - I think they're $125 now.)  These diapers claim to be good for 3 months, but we are still using them.  When she grows out of them (or is weaned), we will use BumGenius diapers.  We LOVE these prefolds - even Chris is a believer! He hates putting her in disposables now.  With 30 diapers, we do a load of laundry every other day.  The covers only have to be changed if they get soiled on.  We tend to use the same cover for an entire day.  These diapers are basically just as convenient as disposables.  They are cheaper in the long run, more environmentally friendly, and lack the chemicals that can be found in disposable diapers.  After this experience, we plan on using them for all of our children, which stretches their value even further!

4. Fisher Price "Whale of a Tub"

Why We Love It:

First of all, look how cute that thing is! That's what got me initially, but I also read tons of happy mama reviews on this bathtub.  It's super easy to put together.  Also, it has a convenient removable little seat for tiny babies so that they can sit upright in the tub.  It also has a small drain and plug.  Evie loves this thing! Best of all, we have had no problems with mold in it thus far.  Our major complaint? The size.  Our house has very limited storage, so this big guy usually ends up propped up in our shower when we're not using it.  It also takes up more space than we'd like when we travel.  Overall though, we love it.  Evie has a ball when she takes a bath!

**EDIT: Chris asked me to add this next one...
5. Skip Hop Owl Activity Mat

 Can't you tell she loves it? :) 

Why We Love It:
Quite simply, we love this because Evie loves it.  She plays on it every single day.  Each of the dangling toys is different, and many of them make noise.  They can all be removed and attached to other things, like a car seat or stroller.  This also allows us to interchange them with other dangly toys that she has.  The mat itself is soft, colorful, and includes a few other sensory items like a mirror, squeaky flower, and crinkly leaves.  It's also very easy to put together or take apart for storing or traveling.  

Well, that takes care of a few of our favorites so far.  I'll add more as we discover other products that we love.  I also may do a separate post on the specifics of cloth diapering.  Like I said, we love it!

Little Cries

Now that Evie is three months old, I find myself reminiscing about her short, sweet life on this earth so far.  I also think of how our lives have changed.  We are a family.  As I was looking through some old photos from the hospital when Evie was born, I came across this video of us getting ready to take her home.  In the video, I'm ever so carefully dressing her in pajamas.  She is screaming.  But her cries - they are so sweet and tiny and heartbreaking! Nothing like the loud, yelling type cries she has now.  (Hey, her lungs are working really well.) It makes me tear up thinking how quickly time is passing.  I suppose I should get used to it - it doesn't seem like it's going to slow down.

Up North

Evie went on her first real vacation for the Fourth of July.  Chris and I headed up to his family's cottage for a quick getaway.  Although we were only there for one full day, it was sooo nice to just be together.  No phones, no emails, no work, just family.

My heart is full.

Father's Day

I know that Father's Day was a few weeks ago now, but I've been meaning to share some thoughts on it for awhile.

If you know me well at all, you probably know that my relationship with my own father is far less than stellar.  It has pretty much always been that way, though it has recently gotten worse.  When I announced my engagement to Chris, my dad basically disowned me for two years.  He refused to speak to me at all, even when I was still living in my parents' house before returning to school in Tennessee.  When I went back to school, he never called.  And even though he ended up coming to our wedding (no one was sure if he'd show up), he did not walk me down the aisle or dance with me.  And for the first year of our marriage, he remained absent and silent in my life. 

When my mom finally filed for divorce, my dad made a half-hearted attempt at reconciliation with Chris and me.  He took us out to dinner and apologized for the way he had acted toward both of us.  Fast forward a few months and he is silent yet again.  I have not heard from him since February.  He hasn't even seen Evie. 

Needless to say, Father's Day was a bit difficult for me in some ways.  But what I am missing in a relationship with my own father is being made up for in the relationship Chris has already formed with our daughter.  He is such an amazing dad.  His personality profile describes his marriage type as a "help mate," and that is so true.  He carries more than his fair share in parenting, housework, and providing for our family.  I am blessed to be his wife, and Evie is blessed to have him as her dad.

Happy first father's day, love.  You're the best.

Confessions of a New Mom

Everlyn is going to be a month old in a few days - oh how the time flies! Every day continues to be a gradual learning process.  It's almost scary to have this little, helpless person who needs me for everything, and yet I have no clue what I'm doing most of the time.  I love her so very much - I can't even imagine not having her with us! But it's not always easy.  Actually, it's rarely ever easy.  And there are so many emotions that come into play every day.  I had all of these wonderful expectations about being the "perfect" mom in our "perfect" family - wrong! So many of my ideas about parenting have changed already, and I have no doubt that they will continue to do so.  I want to share how my ideas have changed because I felt so much guilt when I thought I was letting my baby down.  But I'm (slowly) starting to realize that there really are no "right" answers.  So here's what I've got... don't judge.

1.  I hate breastfeeding.  I really do.  It's exhausting, time-consuming, and usually pretty painful.  It keeps me from going out of the house very often (because I don't feel comfortable nursing in public.)  It also means that I have to get up every two hours or so at night when she is hungry.  At times, it's even frustrating for Evie - she's learning too.  My goal is to make it three months exclusively breastfeeding.  I know that's not very long, but it's what is realistic at this point.  If for some reason things change, maybe it'll be longer.  But for now, three months may even be a miracle.

2. Sometimes I get frustrated with Evie.  That is really hard to admit.  She's just a helpless little girl, and yet I find myself upset when she can't fall asleep at night or when she cries for an hour or more with no apparent needs.  But I am learning to be patient with this daughter that I love so much.  And when she's a little older, I hope she will be patient with me as well.  It's a learning process for both of us.

3.  Being a new mom doesn't mean I am always happy.  Again - unrealistic expectations for myself.  I remember when we were getting ready to be discharged from the hospital and I started sobbing.  I was tired, in a lot of pain, and caring for a brand new baby.  When Chris went back to work, it got even worse.  Here I was, literally stuck at home, with this little girl who didn't sleep and needed me every moment of the day.  I was tired, lonely, and afraid of messing up.  My doctor even prescribed me some medication for postpartum depression.  For some reason, we are given the idea that life with a new baby is going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time.  While it is a really wonderful, exciting thing, it's hard.  But the families in the diaper commercials don't tell you that. :)

These are just a few of the things I've experienced so far.  And while it's a little bit humbling to admit them, I am glad that I can finally be honest about motherhood so far.  And now, I need to go comfort my beautiful little girl so she will hopefully sleep :)

This Too Shall Pass

When I was pregnant, people would make jokes about how we should prepare ourselves for not sleeping when the baby was born.  I would complain about pulling an all-nighter for school, and someone would always reply, "You better get used to it!" What I didn't realize at the time is that people who talk about new parents not getting any sleep are right.  We literally get no sleep.  Every night, Evie begins to fuss around midnight.  This fussing leads to wakefulness (on her part) and crying (on both of our parts) until about 5 a.m.  We try to soothe her - we play music, we rock her, we cuddle her.  Nothing works.  She just wails and wails.  Sometimes she will fall into a light sleep, but she wakes up as soon as we lay her down.  And then around 5:30 or 6, she decides that she is tired and falls fast asleep.

Needless to say, we are not getting any sleep.  Literally.

I found myself in a mixture of panic and frustration.  Panic because people are already asking if she is sleeping through the night.  Hello, she's only 3 weeks and 1 day old! No, she's not sleeping through the night! In fact, she's not sleeping at all at night. We have tried all of the recommendations - swaddling, swings, laying her down awake, laying her down asleep, music, white noise, and on and on.  She just hasn't figured it out yet I guess. I also get frustrated when it's 3:00 in the morning and it feels like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  I find myself literally begging poor little Evie to please sleep for awhile.  Please.  And of course, that does nothing to help her sleep. 

All of this leads me to desperately asking other moms for advice.  What do I do?! And amidst all of the aforementioned recommendations, I find several moms saying, "Hang in there, this is the rough part. It only gets easier.  This too shall pass."  And I have to stop and think - am I expecting too much from this sweet little girl? She is so little in a brand new environment, and I am expecting her to have it all figured out after only 3 weeks.  How can I be so demanding? She is not expecting me to be perfect, and I should not expect that from her.  As much as I desperately want her to start sleeping through the night, I am trying to learn to cherish these moments because I know they will be gone all too soon.  And while I find comfort in knowing that "this too shall pass," it also makes my heart ache a little knowing how quickly she will grow up.  I have no doubt that I will one day look back and long for her to be a new baby again, all-nighters and all.  I need to hold on to these times, trying as they may seem in the present.

Yes, this too shall pass.  So I need to enjoy it before it does.