not my child

For the longest time, I refused to put Evie in the nursery room at church.  I didn't have a legitimate reason; I just wasn't ready to let go.  When we finally did, the first few times were rough.  She cried and reached for me as I walked away.  I wanted to cry too.  Now, she (usually) goes in happily and eager to play with all of the toys.  And I still want to cry.

Why is letting go so difficult? 

It almost feels silly to write this about the church nursery - a place she visits only once a week for an hour and a half.  But as a mama, it is the first of many, many times when I will have to relinquish control of my sweet baby to the world.  The first of many "letting go's."  

But I was recently reminded from a more mature, seasoned mother that Evie is not truly my child.  She is, above all else, God's child.  His precious daughter.  I have simply been given the privilege and responsibility of raising her for a short time.  That's not something that I can easily accept, to be honest. I love this little girl with my whole being.  To think that she is only mine for a time is scary and painful. And yet, I am excited to see what God does with her little life.  I simply need to learn to let go gracefully.  After all, He will never let go of her.