it's time

I never in a million years expected that I would fall victim to postpartum depression.  And yet, it hit me hard and fast, leaving me feeling lost in the sea of motherhood.  I waited for it to go away.  When it didn't, I finally talked to my doctor about getting help.  Since then, I've been taking an antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication every day.

Here I am now, over one year later, still fighting this battle daily.  The raw edge has certainly been dulled by the medication, but it is not enough.  I still struggle.

It's time to get help.

I'm looking into seeing a therapist and possibly joining a support group.  Just saying those things makes me feel so very nervous and even embarrassed.  But the truth is, this is long overdue.  I need healing.

It's time.

support

Last night, Chris and I went to dinner with his parents after church.  We had Evie with us, which is always an adventure.  She sat in the wooden highchair squealing, tossing crayons, and munching on anything she could get her hands on.  An older couple sitting next to us commented several times on how cute she was.  They smiled and waved at her, and they even said goodbye to her when they left.  For once, I didn't feel pressured or judged by those around me to keep my daughter quiet and behaving perfectly.  They recognized her for who she is - an energetic toddler - and appreciated her presence.  It was so refreshing.

But it got me thinking... why doesn't society support parents more?  Think about it.  Marketing that targets children is everywhere.  Who can blame a tired, worn out mama for giving in to her children's demands for that sugary cereal or candy snack at the grocery store? Parents may dread taking their rambunctious children to restaurants for fear of the judging glances from strangers.  Wouldn't it be nice if society helped making parenting easier? After all, it's the hardest job out there.  Even a kind word from a stranger in the mall or grocery store can make a mom (or dad) feel like she is doing a good job.

Since I have become a mom, I find that I am much more sympathetic towards other parents - the one with the screaming toddler at Target or the sobbing baby in church service.  Parenting is hard, and parents need all the support they can get.

We need to support each other.