Tuesday, October 29, 2013

mama guilt

Ever have those days where you feel like you've failed?

That's me today.

As a mom, I try to do my very best for my daughter.  I want to feed her the healthiest food, dress her in the cutest clothes, and teach her everything she needs to learn.  Sometimes, I get so caught up in these petty little things.  Yes, I want to feed my daughter healthy food, but chicken nuggets aren't going to spoil that every now and then.  And so what if her shirt has stains on it? That's not going to matter to her, so why does it matter so much to me? 

With all of these mental "must-do" lists, it's so easy to lose sight of what really matters - making sure that Evie knows she is loved unconditionally.  Am I really showing her that when I feed her organic food, or does she see it more when we snuggle and watch Sesame Street together in our pjs?  

What makes my agenda so important?

I need to let go of these things, these matters of secondary importance, and just let myself be in the moment with my daughter.  I want her to remember that we played in the leaves and read stories and built towers, not that she wore cute clothes or ate three servings of fruit everyday.  I want her to remember the love she felt.

It's not going to be an easy transition for me as the perfectionist that I am, but it starts with grace.  

Let me find grace in tomorrow.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Evie speak

I have been amazed these last few weeks at how many new words Evie is picking up.  She is very aware of the things we say and the sounds we make, and she often will imitate us at the most funny moments.  It has made me realize that we need to be careful to use our language in a thoughtful way at all times.  I want to share some of Evie's words - her version of them and what I have found that they mean.

hi - hi
muh - milk
mama - mama :) She often says this repeatedly now because she likes when I respond with, "Yes?"
dada - daddy
dah-dah - doggy, not to be confused with "daddy"
sop - soup
bah-bah or bah-boo - baby; she says this as she pats my tummy or if she sees a baby
up - this means both up and down, which can get confusing
cheese - cheese
wa-wa - water
side - outside
teez - toothbrush
night-night - bedtime
hep - help
tig - tiger, her favorite toy
hey - hey or hi
tee-tee - TV
bye-bye - bye, also she uses this to reference cars
home - home
sah - sock
shez - shoes
two - two; she counts to three, but usually skips one; she sometimes uses this to mean again
dah - please; not sure why she says "dah" for please but can clearly say cheese, peas, etc.

There are more, but many are slipping my mind at the moment.  I love that we are slowly starting to understand each other better. I just love that little girl!



Tuesday, October 8, 2013

my little love


Hi my beautiful baby.  It was so good to see you again yesterday.  Your daddy and I can't wait to finally meet you in person.  We love you so much already.


"You are loved more than you know.
I hereby pledge all of my days 
To prove it so.
Though your heart is far too young to realize
The unimaginable light you hold inside."